so its been awhile...
i've been struggling with this fall misery and still battling the fuckin nausea and tiredness and worst of all, the extreme hunger...really, just dangerously hungry...before this, i wouldn't eat until 10.30-11am every day, then again only at dinner, and maybe a nighttime snack...now, i'm hungry as soon as i get up, then again mid morning, then lunch--get outta my way, then dinner again, then hungry again till bed...like WTF!?!?

i can deal with the other symptoms, but an expanding waistline just shoots my mood right out the window...

i'm shoving down a teaspoon of real ginger every morning (yummee) for my nausea-which is really working well, but whatever it is, can't wait for this miserable state to leave...


...so i've never been more excited about anything in my life...really and truly...within the last few years, i've started to get a mental hunger to start using my brain again...like you know, take a course...but like anyone, you naturally want to take a course you're passionate about...and of course, carleton university, or any other for that matter doesn't offer courses that i'm passionate about, the closest thing that comes to it is religion and the spirit and even that's all stupidity in the way its taught...so i'm doing research on near death experiences on the internet ( as usual ) , and stumble across the american institute for holistic theology that offer a ba or masters or phd program in P-A-R-A-P-S-Y-C-H-I-C    S-C-I-E-N-C-E!!!!!!!!!!! of which includes courses such as, you guessed it, near death experiences, psychic intuitions,  edgar cayce, chakra therapy, hypnosis, past life regression, reincarnation..etc...etc..etc...
yahoooooooooo!!! finally, someone has heard me!! so i'm like totally totally applying, but we're looking at 4-5000.00 kind of upfront and hubby got a little irritated since you know, we've spent over 10,000.00 in the last several months doing major repairs/reno's etc...to the apt's so he would prefer i wait until march...no problem, i've only waited 39 years, i can wait another four months...
i actually looked into carleton last year about maybe getting my masters in psychology since that's the closest program to my interests, but it just didn't cut it-i wasn't passionate enough about stuff i've already learned, and basic psychology stuff...parapsychology, maybe, but of course, they don't offer it...this american institute of holistic theology is apparantly not accredited, but i really don't care...my goal isn't to take what i've learned to a job interview, its just to expand and feed my natural curiousity that consumes my thoughts day after day...
hopefully one day, the universities will catch up to this real stuff that exists out there and update this stuff into their courses and programs...i really feel sorry for these 'educational stiffs' that refuse to add anything new to their literature that can't be scientifically proven within their own limited physical senses of course...but university is the ultimate learning experience, right? yup okay then...


oh, gotta go now, believe that...i'm hungry

its been awhile, but i've been struggling with friggin seasonal affective disorder...AGAIN...every year, of course, that's the nature of the beast, but you just forget how miserable it really is until you're struck with it again...nausea seems to be my biggest thing in november...i can't figure that one out...i thought maybe its allergies, since its usually always in the fall..so i went and got allergy medication and of course no change, so i  have to rule it to sadd...even though its not really a symptom...
...i went out today and got vitamin d and vitamin b6-apparantly good for sadd and of course i'm going to overdose on them...it seemed to work a little today-not as tired and a bit better mood, but the beast is still there...i just can't wait till it starts to go away, man winter sucks!! the symptom i hate the most is the carbohydrate cravings and the weight gain-if its not one thing, its another...i'm so tired of dealing with health issues all the time-bad back, tight muscles, neck/shoulder/arm pain, sciatic nerve pain, pms, seasonal affective disorder, then a bad cold, more pms, sore joints, insomnia and on and on...yes i complain-i'm human and i'll take pleasure in complaining...

till next time...